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Stephanie opened the curtains to the window and smiled.  It had officially stopped raining and the sun was shining brightly that morning.  The large puddles of water that filled the street begged to be jumped and played in.  She giggled as she thought of Sportacus when he told her of how he loved jumping in puddles.  Of course, she didn’t like doing that, but going out to just play would be great.  She knew she’d be the only one up for a long time, so reading would almost have to suffice her at the moment.  

Picking up her book, Stephanie hummed to herself quietly, turning to the spot she had left off.  Each page she read made her more excited, and the more excited she got, the antsier she became to go outside.  Stephanie was getting so excited the outside world outside her mind was unnoticed.  That didn’t matter anyways.  There was no one to talk to at this time of morning.  It was safe to say they’d all be sleeping for the next couple hours.  The click of the door to the basement said otherwise.  

“Hrm.  What are you doing up so early, pinkie?”

Stephanie recognized that voice and grinned curiously in the direction of the dark figure stretching and cracking a tired body.

“Good morning to you too, Robbie!”

The response she got was a muffled snort and she giggled.  Stephanie knew exactly what the cranky master of disguise needed and she placed her book on the chair she was sitting in to go to the kitchen.  

Robbie continued to wake his lanky body up, “What’re you doing up so early?”

“It’s 7:30.  It’s not that early!”

Robbie’s ears picked up the clanking sounds of cups being taken out of the cupboard, causing him to snort in near dissatisfaction.  Coffee.  He didn’t hate it, but he didn’t like it.  Caffeine.  It was the anti-sleep.  Robbie was against the anti-sleep, more so the anti-anti-sleep.  It then occurred to the tall man the pink sprite would be having some too if two cups were being used.  He shook his head.  Coffee wasn’t an old person’s drink anymore.  Robbie wasn’t going to be surprised if coffee became the new soda to some of these kids, and it made him cringe.

Robbie slowly made his way over to the couch, plopping on it tiredly as Stephanie continued making them coffee.  His weary eyes surveyed the dark area and his sharp eyes identified Stephanie’s book on the chair across from him.  Robbie wasn’t much of a reader, but he did take interest in books from time to time.  Against his body’s protests, Robbie hauled himself up and walked to the chair, grabbing the book and looking at the cover.  An eye brow rose questioningly as he read the title.  

“The Odyssey?”

Stephanie looked up from the coffee pot, “Hm?”

“You’re reading The Odyssey?”

“Yeah.  What’s wrong with that?”

Robbie paged through the book with his thumb, “Aren’t you a little..well, young to read this?”

Stephanie brought over two cups of coffee and placed them on the little table next to the couch.  Smiling happily, she turned and gently grabbed the book from Robbie, paging through it herself.

“Oh no!  It’s a wonderful story!  It’s the story of Odysseus and his travels and-”

“I’ve read the book, Pinkie.  Now tell me why such a youngster like you would take such an interest in such a complex story like one of Homer’s?”

She closed the book and hugged it to her chest, “Because of all the romance and all the tests of faith and…and ALL SORTS OF STUFF.  Besides, Odysseus is really cool!  He’s so smart and cunning and-”

Robbie snorted, sitting down and grabbing his coffee, “Arrogant.”

She looked at him confusingly, “Huh?”

“Odysseus is an arrogant bastard.”

“He is not!”

Robbie took a sip of his coffee and sighed.  Obviously, for as mature as Stephanie thought she was, she missed quite a bit of obvious information that makes half the story.  The cup made a clinking noise as he put it down again and he sighed in an irritated way.  It was way too early to explain things to a child, but seeing as how he dug himself into a hole, he figured he couldn’t go back on it.

“I told you you’re too young for this book.  You’ve missed a crucial fact.  If you’re even reading it you’d realize the kind of arrogant bastard he is.  But instead you’re all over the happy, romantic qualities that make him look like the perfect hero.”

Stephanie huffed, “Oh yeah?  Have you even read it?”

“Of course.  Required reading at the University.”

“And how would you define his so called ‘arrogance.’”

Robbie snorted, “Oh please.  If you’re actually reading it, you’d know.  But because I’m a good, handsome guy, I’ll tell you.”

Stephanie picked up her cup and sipped it, curling up on the couch.  This should be good.  Robbie’s never good with remembering things with books.  Robbie stretched once more before taking a deep breath and continuing.

“Seeing how far you are in that, you’ve passed the Cyclopes part.  Typical hero thing goes on: Gets captured, in the face of death, trickery, escapes, yadda, yadda, yadda.  But once on his ship, he arrogantly shouts his true identity and basically flaunts himself as some unstoppable force, even for the mightiest of foes…even Gods.  He thought he was so great that even though he was so called “faithful” to his wife, he slept with Cerce among lots of other women because he thought he was that great.  Should I continue?”

Stephanie cocked her head to the side, “So…basically…he thought-”

“That he was basically a God or better.  Yes.  Arrogant.”

She sighed, “Oh…”

“It’s a good story, I’m not going to lie,” he took a sip of his coffee. “But anyone who tries to take the title of God and think that they can control everything and do anything because of they’re so called ‘greatness’ just because they can is an arrogant prick.”

Stephanie was quiet.

Robbie looked at her, then sighed mentally, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t love him as a character anyways.  Hell, why do you think Sportacus and you kids like me?  I’m arrogant and stupid all the time.”

Stephanie looked up at him and smiled, “Thanks, Robbie.”

“What can I say?  I am amazing like that, aren’t I?”


Bright lights and the smell of betadine filled Sportacus’s senses like a needle pierced through skin.  Dizziness overtook him and made him incapable for perception.  His eyes slid open and closed over and over again, each time revealing bright light and dark silhouettes.  His ears twitched at the sounds of soft clanks and snips.  He felt nothing, as if he was a log in the woods.  The world spun around him, and his head turned from side to side trying to follow the flow.  Sportacus tried his best to open his mouth to speak, but a small prick in his arm pushed all the air out of him and he slowly became engulfed in darkness once again.


“Keh, keh, heh, heh…so the mastar’s found new blood.  In all the world this poor soul could have traveled, its picked here.  Very, very nastay choice.  He will regrets it soon, yes, yes…”


Sportacus’s eyes slowly opened, wincing slightly at the bright light above him.  He couldn’t see much.  His vision was fuzzy and his head felt dizzy still.  All that Sportacus could really make out above him besides the bright light was a slowly turning ceiling fan.  Sportacus shut his eyes again and tried to move, but found his body, for some reason, utterly useless.  He couldn’t move his legs and his fingers hardly could twitch, but of what he could move brought aches and pains that he normally wouldn’t have…or shouldn’t have at that matter.  He opened his eyes half way again, the blur not going away.  

The elf couldn’t help but think about what he had experienced earlier.  It had seemed as if he had kept slipping in and out of consciousness.  After really thinking about it, Sportacus nearly concluded that it all had been a strange dream.  He’s had some of those dreams before, the ones that seem so real you thought it was real.  But Sportacus had some part of him that screamed the “dream” had been real, but he dismissed it.  Sportacus groaned out loud, forcing air out of his lungs.  His body was starting to wake up and move and his vision got less and less blurry.  As his eyes focused, Sportacus raised his head slightly to explore his surroundings.  It was a new room, like one you’d find at a hospital, only slightly different.  

His throat burned slightly and his voice was hoarse, but that didn’t stop him from speaking, even if he was alone.

“Where…w-where am I?”

When no response came, he called again.

“Why am I in here?”

“Oh!  You’re awake!”

Sportacus turned his head to the side and Dr. Fuuten walked in, smiling a smile that dripped with honey.  The doctor walked to the side of Sportacus’s bed.  He was holding a clipboard and a pen hung behind the old man’s ear.  

“I was afraid for a while there you weren’t going to wake up so easily.”

“How long have I been out?”

“Couple days, actually.”
“What happened?”

“You fainted and when you fell, you hit something that left a gash in your arm.  More importantly, you hit your head as well, so you’ll feel a little funny for a while.” A little spark entered his eye, “Well, how do you feel right now?”

Sportacus slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his neck, “Disorientated…a little sore.”

Dr. Fuuten wrote things down in his clip board, “MmHm.  MmHm.  Kay.”



The doctor wrote some more down on his clip board.  He seemed to be contemplating something, which Sportacus took as contemplation of how to treat the elf.  After a few moments, Dr. Fuuten pushed his pen back into his pocket and looked up at Sportacus.

“Well, I’m going to give you something that should take that all away in a few hours.”


The doctor turned to go, “Good.  I’ll be right back.”

“Hey, Doc!”


“Can…can I write another letter?”


Robbie kicked a rock on the way back to his lair.  He was NOT looking forward to pumping out all the water he knew would be down there.  Drains and pipe lines needed to be installed and Robbie decided that would be his next project for a long while.  Sure, it’d be easier just to buy a regular home above ground, but Robbie snorted at the idea of living in the sun light.  Too healthy…and sun light meant kids outside.  Too annoying.  The underground lair was an escape and he wanted to keep it that way.  

Looking up the road, Robbie spotted the mail man.  A jittery, lanky thing the mail man of LazyTown was.  He always seemed nervous and twitched a lot.  No one really knew why this was.  Some assumed it was because he didn’t know anyone in town and was afraid to get things wrong.  Others assumed it was a speech impediment.  Robbie figured it was because he was a spineless idiot.  He had no sympathy for the mail man.  Grow a bit of back bone and walk tall instead of hunched over like a beaten dog, no matter how scared or nervous you were.  Robbie learned that the hard way through his life at LazyTown and adjusted.  The mail man could do the same.  Again, no sympathy from the master of disguise.  

Robbie sighed as he was about to walk past the mail man.  Might as well be ‘nice’ for once.  

“Need some help?”

The mail man jumped, squeaking, “Y-y-y-yes sir!  I c-c-c-can’t find the address l-l-l-listed.”

Robbie mentally scowled.  Do I look that scary? “Who’s it for?”

“I don’t….I don’t think I c-c-c-c-can tell you that.”

“Why not?”

“P-p-privacy issues…”

Robbie huffed, “You want help or not?”

The mail man clutched the letter tightly, “Well…yeah, b-but-”

“If ifs and buts were candy and nuts we’d all have a successful candy store, now tell me.”

“A R-R-Robbie Rotten.”

Robbie blinked in surprise.  He hadn’t gotten mail for a long time, so long that the post office actually forgot his address existed, leading to potentially confused mail carriers.  Robbie held his hand out.

“That’s me!”

The mail man sighed, “Oh okay, good.”  He shoved the letter into Robbie’s hands, “Okay, buh bye now!”

“Yeah, thanks.”

The mail man turned heals and briskly walked away reaching into his bag for more letters, shaking all the more.  Robbie just shook his head. Weirdo. His eyes slowly lowered from the disappearing man to the letter he held in his hands.  He couldn’t figure out who would actually send him a letter.  His family members seemed to want nothing to do with him and to Hell if Robbie knew where any of them were.  Not that he cared, anyways.

Robbie briskly walked the rest of the way home, fumbling with the hatch to his lair slightly.  Zooming down the pipes and flying into his big, orange, fuzzy chair, he grunted, feeling a sharp pain in his rear.  Reaching under, Robbie pulled out an old screw driver he figured he had been fumbling with a couple nights before.  Throwing it to the side, he ripped open the envelope and pulled open the letter.  The familiar, musky scent that was all over the paper told Robbie who it was from.

“He’s already that home sick, huh?”

Robbie sighed, putting the envelope on his little table next to his chair.  His body slouched in his chair, his eyes scanning the pieces of paper as he read.  

Dear Robbie,

How are you?  I miss you a lot already.  I’ve only been gone for something like a day or so and I’ve already got some things that I’m confused about!  I don’t understand it.  On the way to the research facility, we went through a horrible town!  It was awful Robbie!  The place was dirty, people committing crimes everywhere and other horrible stuff!  Dr. Fuuten said it was because no body wanted to deal with the problems so they dumped all the bad people here and they continue to do bad things!  Why do they do that, Robbie?  I don’t understand what he means when he says that they are playing a role of God.  What’s that mean?  I just don’t understand.

I had a weird dream last night.  I was in a dark place and it was hot and sticky.  But then there was a lizard and it attacked me!  It made me feel…really uneasy.  What do you think?  I haven’t come in contact with any sort of weird animal like that.  The eyes were really scary and its hiss turned into some sort of roar.  Remember when you taught me about instincts?  Those thingies started to kick in.  Like…they’re telling me to be extra careful.  But I’m sure I’ll be okay.  I’m with Dr. Fuuten after all.  He’ll protect me just like he protected you!  Maybe I’m just nervous of being in such a new place.  Maybe I’m just shaken up by that horrible city.  I hope to never see that place again after this experience.  This research facility is kinda weird.  Dr. Fuuten doesn’t have anyone else here helping him.  I asked him what happened to all of them and he said they were all dead!  I wonder what happened.  I’d think it’d get pretty lonely without anyone around here.  

Dr. Fuuten says we’ll be starting our research today, so I don’t have much more time to write this.  He says I can write you whenever I want!  Isn’t that great?  You could even come visit-well…I guess I didn’t ask if you could or not, but I’d think it’d be okay!  I’m sure he’d like to see you again!  Maybe you could help!  That’d be great!  I’ll send you another letter soon!

Lots of love!

Robbie shook his head.  ‘Lots of love.’  You don’t hear that said by one man to another every day.  He snickered.  Then again, it’s Sportacus.  This is the same adult elf that likes to jump in mud puddles and play with children all day.  

His eyes went back up to the earlier content of the letter.  That city Sportacus described was nothing new to Robbie.  Robbie knew all too well about Knaves.  It was a disgusting city, Robbie didn’t disagree there.  But he knew Sportacus didn’t even see the beginning of the city’s horrible state.  Robbie knew from multiple experiences there, a few he didn’t exactly want to recall.  He did, however, remember quite well and quite graphically a few things he witnessed while on a few errands.  One that he wished he could erase was when he was about 13.  Robbie had to hide in a cupboard and watched out a little knot hole as a group of wannabe gangsters group raped a woman and her daughter while the woman’s husband and 3 other sons watched.  In the end, the bad guys lined them up against the wall and shot each one with a pistol.  Robbie still had nights where he was startled awake by the blood curdling screams that pierced his ears that night.

Shaking his head free of the memory, Robbie returned his attention to Sportacus’s letter.  The dream didn’t quite confuse Robbie.  He was sure it was fear of being far from home, then having the city of Knaves between him and LazyTown.  Not much to think about that. The idea of Robbie visiting wasn’t something that Robbie hadn’t thought of.  He thought it’d be cool to go down and see the facility and help.  It wasn’t like Robbie was currently tied down.  But the sounds of dripping from Robbie’s pipes made him snarl slightly.  He’d have to fix the plumping in the place first.  Drip.  Drip.

He threw the letter onto the table and rubbed his forehead.  Some other day though.  Robbie was way too tired to go anywhere.  Sportacus’s insecurities should be gone after a few days there and those were the days he would go see him.  Robbie rested his head back and soon sleep tugged at his eyes and he fell into restless sleep that was plagued by the dripping of the pipes.  Drip.  Drip.

Drip.  Drip.

Go.  Now.

One final drip was heard, and what Robbie didn’t see was the final drop of water falling from the pipe, slowly turning a deep red of blood before splattering across the floor.


A sharp pain shot through Sportacus’s entire body, causing the elf to stir from his deep sleep.  His eyes shot open, and he groaned loudly.  It wasn’t just a whole body ache that could go away with a couple of pain killers.  This was pain that would make the strongest, most tolerant men cry, and Sportacus knew he needed Dr. Fuuten.  

“Dr. Fuuten!”

No response.

“Dr. Fuuten!  Dr. Fuuten, PLEASE!”

The pain was getting unbearable for Sportacus.  It was as if someone was holding a piping hot stake against him firmly all over his body and inside it.  The elf thrashed in his bed, not hearing the door open quickly as the doctor finally came in.

“Sportacus!  What’s wrong?”

The response he got was a held back grunt that turned into whimpered squeaks as Sportacus thrashed.  The violent jerks of his body threatened to get worse, and Dr. Fuuten ran to the medical drawers on the back end of the room, quickly pulling out a syringe and bottle of liquid.  He filled the syringe with a large dose of the medicine and ran back to the elf.

“Sportacus, you must hold still for a minute!  This will help you!  Just hold still!”

Sportacus tried his best to stop moving, but the pain was unbearable.  He stopped moving just enough for Dr. Fuuten to brace down Sportacus’s arm and stick the needle in, pushing the medicine in with it.  Sportacus jerked about momentarily before his body started to feel fuzzy and inert.  Dr. Fuuten extracted the needle and threw it in the trash, watching the elf closely.  With a sigh escaping his lips, Sportacus’s eye lids drooped half closed and after a second of defiance, fully shut, putting him back into darkness.


“Welcome to my world, bitch.”
Chapter 7, "Autonomy"

Last line was from Freddy vs Jason. Horrible movie. Great line. ;D

But in comes a new element to my fic. Freddy is NOT in this fic, so no. He didn't say it. XD This chapter would have been done sooner if it hadn't been for the idea for the new element. Because of it, I basically had to rewrite the whole chapter.

LazyTown's not mine, but Magnus's and LE's
StarbearerTM Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'm glad to see the story h ere too! I really like Robbie's interpretation of the Odyssey and how he talks to Stephanie about it. Robbie's so cute how he talks about being 'arrogant' but people liking him anyway.
Kamikalo Featured By Owner Aug 16, 2008
XD I liked that too! The fic is getting fun now, for sure.
StarbearerTM Featured By Owner Aug 17, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Yes :) and very compelling.
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